He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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