So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Floor bacon is actually really good
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
