I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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