woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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