how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
