Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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