I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
