You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
