i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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