I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
