I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
