I will die if light touches me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize