i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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