she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
