He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Oh god it's open bar.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize