You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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