WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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