is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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