Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
