if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize