it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
