i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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