Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I party with great urgency now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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