Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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