I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
