there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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