I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
