i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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