thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
