is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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