Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
