Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
