Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
