she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
