As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
