I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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