At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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