my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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