I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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