worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i think i just lost a toe
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
