I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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