I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Someone signed my nipple.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
