Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would fuck him just for his dog
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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