the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
