I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
