just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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