planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
