i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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