I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
