foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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