I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
