So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
