I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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