found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize