i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
