she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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